Basketball

The invention of basketball was not an accident.  It was developed to meet a need.  Those boys simply would not play "Drop the Handkerchief."  ~James Naismith

This is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators.  ~Dick Vertleib


There are really only two plays:  Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket.  ~Abe Lemons


Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up.  ~Bill Vaughn


If the NBA were on channel 5 and a bunch of frogs making love was on channel 4, I'd watch the frogs even if they were coming in fuzzy.  ~Bobby Knight


The rule was "No autopsy, no foul."  ~Stewart Granger, on the pickup games of his childhood


When it's played the way is spozed to be played, basketball happens in the air; flying, floating, elevated above the floor, levitating the way oppressed peoples of this earth imagine themselves in their dreams.  ~John Edgar Wideman


To win, you've got to put the ball in the macramé.  ~Terry McGuire


I look at the NBA as a football game without the helmet.  ~Tom Tolbert


These are my new shoes.  They're good shoes.  They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me.  They'll only make you have shoes like me.  That's it.  ~From a Charles Barkley commercial for basketball shoes, 1993


I liked the choreography, but I didn't care for the costumes.  ~Tommy Tune, on why he never considered playing basketball


If you meet the Buddha in the lane, feed him the ball.  ~Phil Jackson


Nothing there but basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.  ~Ogden Nash


What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?  ~Woody Allen, Annie Hall


We have a great bunch of outside shooters.  Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors.  ~Weldon Drew


Basketball is the MTV of sports.  ~Sara Levinson


I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years.  Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.  ~Dave Barry


I hate it.  It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven.  Five guys standing there with their hands in the air.  ~Norm Sloan, on zone defense


Fans never fall asleep at our games, because they're afraid they might get hit by a pass.  ~George Raveling


When I dunk, I put something on it.  I want the ball to hit the floor before I do.  ~Darryl Dawkins


We're shooting 100 percent - 60 percent from the field and 40 percent from the free-throw line.  ~Norm Stewart


The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy.  ~Jerry Tarkanian

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